Thursday, September 25, 2014

Sikh Wedding Officiant

Sikh Wedding Officiant available for destination Sikh Weddings

Sikh Destination Wedding Officiant

  • Multiracial couple, Dr. Freedom and Leela officiate the wedding
  • Ceremony is performed in English with Traditional Sikh Kirtan Music with choice of shabads
  • Scriptures are provided
  • Interfaith Weddings welcome
  • Ceremonies are Spiritual and Engaging
  • Flexibility in customising the ceremony to your needs
  • Choice of Time and Location of event
  • Choose your intimate congregation
  • Communal seating welcome
  • Choice of type of parshaad
  • Decorate the room and altar with your color choice
  • kerchiefs and Chunees of your choice
  • Ceremony less then an hour

Sikh inter-faith marriages discussed

Sikh inter-faith marriages discussed

The discussion as to marrying with 2 faiths continues and there is NO rule book for this except the feeling in the heart.  

Check out this blog:

What is the Sikh attitude to inter-faith marriages?
April 12th, 2010 3 Comments
Marriage is about two bodies walking ‘one path’, not ‘two paths’.
In recent years, the incidences of interfaith marriages (i.e. Sikh and non-Sikh) have been increasing in Gurdwaras across the world despite the Panthic Sikh Rehat Maryada clearly stating that “a Sikh should marry only a Sikh.”
Rehitnamas further say:
(ੳ) ਨਾਤਾ ਗੁਰੂ ਕੇ ਸਿਖ ਨਾਲ ਕਰੇ। (ਰਹਿਤਨਾਮਾ ਭਾਈ ਚੌਂਪਾ ਸਿੰਘ)1. Have relations with a Sikh of the Guru. (Rehatnama Bhai Chaupa Singh)
(ਅ) ਕੰਨਯਾ ਕੋ ਮਾਰੇ, ਮੋਨੇ ਕੋ ਕੰਨਯਾ ਦੇਵੇ, ਸੋ ਤਨਖਾਹੀਆ ਹੈ।
ਸਿੱਖ ਕੋ ਸਿੱਖ ਪੁਤ੍ਰੀ ਦਈ, ਸੁਧਾ ਸੁਧਾ ਮਿਲ ਜਾਇ।
ਦਈ ਭਾਦਣੀ ਕੋ ਸੁਤਾ, ਅਹਿ ਮੁਖ ਅਮੀ ਚੁਆਇ। (ਰਹਿਤਨਾਮਾ ਭਾਈ ਦੇਸਾ ਸਿੰਘ)
2. Killing a daughter or to give a daughter (in marriage) to a non-Sikh, such a person commits great offence. Sikh should give his daughter (in marriage) to a Sikh. Thus Gurmukh meets a Gurmukh. Giving a daughter to a Bhadni (non-Sikh) is like giving nectar to a snake. (Rehatnama Bhai Desa Singh)
(ੲ) ਕੰਨਯਾ ਦੇਵੈ ਸਿਖ ਕੋ, ਲੇਵੈ ਨਹਿ ਕੁਛ ਦਾਮ।
ਸੋਈ ਮੇਰਾ ਸਿਖ ਹੈ, ਪਹੁੰਚੇਗੋ ਮਮ ਧਾਮ। (ਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਤਾਪ ਸੂਰਜ)
3. A Sikh gives (in marriage) his daughter to a Sikh and does not accept any money in exchange. He is my Sikh and will reach in my presence. (Guru Pratap Surya)
In response to the growing trend of Gurdwaras relaxing Gur Maryada to accommodate the wishes of individuals rather than respect the Guru’s teachings and Sikh Rehat Maryada, the Sri Akaal Takhat Sahib – the Supreme seat of authority of the Sikhs – has issued a Hukumnama (decree) regarding this matter on the 16-8-2007.
The original letter (along with a translation) can be seen on the link below:
If a Sikh wants to marry a man or woman who is not a Sikh and does not believe in the 10 Gurus and their teachings, Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, and believe in the Amrit given by Guru Gobind Singh Ji, then he or she should first become a Sikh and change his/her name legally and own sole allegiance of faith to Sikhism and no other belief.
The person should become a Sikh both in letter and spirit. The Hukamnama issued in 2007 by Sri Akaal Takht Sahib has simply made this clear. Ideally every Sikh should be an Amritdhari, or at least faithfully believe and strive towards taking Amrit. The Hukamnama does not say that a Sikh should marry only an Amritdhari. The message is that a Sikh should marry within the Sikh community and if he/she wants to marry someone who is not yet a Sikh (not born in a Sikh family and does not have Singh or Kaur as part of their name), that person should really “become a Sikh” and change his/her name legally. The couple’s future children should be raised in accordance to the Sikh religion and their hair should not be cut.
All Sikhs should use the name “Singh” or “Kaur” with their name. Every Sikh child should have Singh or Kaur as part of their name even if the family name/surname is used for some legal reasons.

Extract from Teaching Sikh Heritage by Dr. Gurbaksh Singh

My opinion regarding interracial and interfaith marriage is different from it.  What, I tell the youth at the camps is briefly mentioned below.
There should be no racial bias according to Sikh faith, hence, there is no racial bar against a marriage. Regarding interfaith marriages, it should be well understood that they may be performed by two or more ceremonies but such marriages will not be happy ones.  Religion is not just a collection of beliefs to be understood but a path of life one decides to follow. Two spouses cannot simultaneously walk on two different paths, i.e. practice two faiths and still remain together as a couple.  Otherwise, it is literally a marriage of convenience and not a marriage of minds and hearts.  It is not a true marriage where both partners cannot jointly practice their faith, the mission of their life.  Without practicing faith, we are no better than animals.
In case the two belong to different faiths, before they marry they must decide which faith they are going to follow.  It may be remembered that conversion for marriage does not mean a change of belief, but it is for a worldly advantage.  Such a wedding may soon create problems.  Here are two case histories from a dozen interfaith marriages that I know.  Each has its own lesson for us to learn.
1. I was invited by the New Jersey sangat for a week long seminar there.  My host was a white lady married to a Sikh.  During informal conversation at her house, she narrated her experience of their marriage.  It is rare to find such honest and sincere people.  What she shared with me is retold below in her words.
“My husband is a great human being.  While working for him as his secretary, I liked him.  We got married, even though my British parents did not agree with it.  Later, when they found my husband to be a nice and noble man and also financially well off, they reconciled with our marriage.  They now visit us regularly.  Before our relations became normal with them, we started facing other problems.
The problem of naming our children was easy to overcome.  We agreed to give them both Punjabi and Christian names. The other problems, however, continue.  When we go to the church, none of us really benefit from it.  He does not believe in Christianity and he just sits there to be with me.  My mind remains constantly occupied with the idea that I am forcing one gentleman to sit there for nothing.  The same thing is experienced at the gurdwara where our roles are switched.  I do not understand Sikh sermons recited in Punjabi. He knows that I am there waiting for the function to be over.
The third problem is regarding the faith of our children.  Should we raise them as Christians or as Sikhs?  It bothers me most and it also seems to have no solution. He says, “I can raise them as Christians.  However, as a true Christian, I feel it is sin to raise the children of a Sikh as Christians. If we do not teach them any faith that also is a sin. I am really under great stress.”
We discussed the topic of interfaith marriages quite often during the days I stayed with them. When, I asked her what I should tell the youth about it, she summarized her experience in two sentences. “If you love a person of a different faith, be a sincere friend but do not marry that person.  By marriage, you will ruin the true meaning of life for both.”
2. There is a different experience of interfaith marriage as well.
A European lady is married to a Sikh who cuts his hair.  She studied Sikh faith and had observed the Sikh culture before her marriage to him.  She not only accepted the Sikh philosophy and culture, but also practiced it sincerely.  She even taught Sikh heritage to the youth at the camps, of course, with some Christian element.  One day, when I visited them for a Sikh youth camp, she gave a pleasant surprise to me by asking, “I want to become an Amritdhari Sikh.  I wish my husband joins me.  Please convince him to stop cutting his hair and also take Amrit.”
The conclusion I draw from these two case histories is that one must marry within one’s faith.  In case of an interfaith marriage, they must, before their wedding, join one faith and sincerely live that faith to have peace and achieve the mission of human life.

3 Responses to “What is the Sikh attitude to inter-faith marriages?”

  1. Simran Gill says:
    I do not agree at all. Religion is just your belief on life, god, etc. You should still be able to be free and love who you love. You should not be only limited to the people in the sikh religion when there are millions of people out there. Why are Sikhs told to marry Sikhs? Is it because the religion is better, and the people are better? No. I have met many people who are Sikh and are awful people. I, myself, refuse to live my life through these guidelines telling you who to marry and what to do. I do not even believe myself to be a Sikh anymore; I believe myself to be agnostic
  2. N Kaur says:
    I am sikh and am married to a muslim, we have been together for 8 years and are very happy, does it matter what religion you are as long as you believe in 1 god, muslims call him Allah, sikhs call him waheguru. I continue to practise my faith and he practises his and we give each other full respect. He is one of the kindest practising muslims I know, and we should not forget when we die we are all equal in Gods eyes, it is not what religion we followed that will determine our fate but our purity of heart and belief in God. Ones personal belief and relationship with God has nothing to do with what your spouse believes, in fact there are plenty of people who call themselves sikh but they have never washed and bowed down to their creator, they think if we listen to prayer or go the temple then we are sikhs that does not make a sikh, and how many people born into a religion and are non practising, surely its more important that we find someone who believes in God and practises a faith that find someone who was born into religion but does nothing.
    If we have children they will be taught both faiths and can choose freely and no offence will be taken as it will be their choice, all this you can do this and cant do this is irrelevant, our love has proven that inter faith relationships can work, God has blessed us and we are eternally grateful, may others out there learn from our blessings (if you want to call me a non sikh then fair enough but I never said that you did and I believe God is my judge not you)
  3. N Kaur says:
    There is nothing wrong with interracial marriages
    It does not matter what faith you are as long as there is purity of heart
    Faith is about oneness and love for the diving your spouse has nothing to do with it
    I am Sikh my husband is Muslim and we are fully compatible as we respect each others beliefs
    I don’t care what religion my children are as long as they believe in God
    How many sikhs how many muslims how many people of other faiths have been hypocrites
    The one who create me will judge me and no one else
    ps I left a comment before on this web page and it has been removed because people do not want to show anything that conflicts with the above which is wrong, our Gurus said everyone regardless of religion is equal so why remove the truth

Monday, September 22, 2014

10 Advantages for having a Sikh destination Wedding

10 Advantages for having a Sikh destination Wedding

1. You can sit next to your spouse
2. You will get a new clean handkerchief
3. You will understand the service, it will be in English also
4. The service will be an hour long (does get difficult sitting on the floor, with an option to sit on a chair)
5. You can avoid  many "unwanted guests"
6. Choose your own location
7. You can have it at any time you want
8. You can have color schemes and choices of the altar
9. The toilets will be much cleaner
10. You have a choice of type of parshaad

Destination Sikh Weddings

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Sikh Wedding ' Rituals ' Extended

Sikh Wedding ' Rituals ' Extended

The  Sikh wedding is one of the most elaborate wedding ceremonies that is full of rituals. Known as Anand Karaj.

Thaka/Roka: The Sikh wedding ceremony starts with the roka or the thaka ceremony. Once the families of both the bride and the groom agree to the alliance, the groom with his close relatives, visit the bride's family. This is to indicate to the community that the couple is betrothed and will receive no other offer for marriage. A respected member of the family offers ardaas (prayers) for the well-being of the couple. The groom's mother then presents her future daughter-in-law gifts (in the form of a chunni, sweets and cash). In turn, the bride's parents offer their son-in-law a shagan (token gift) in the form of cash and sweets to formalize the announcement of the engagement.

Mangni/Sagai/Kudmai: This refers to the formal engagement. Laden with a complete ensemble of fine clothes, accessories, jewelry and toiletries, the groom's relatives go to the bride's house along with the groom. The ceremony commences with prayers and kirtans (singing of hymns) in the presence of the holy book of the Sikhs, the Guru Granth Sahib. The bride's mother gifts her son-in-law various gifts (including sweets, jewelry and cash). The bride also receives gifts from her mother-in-law for an auspicious beginning. Finally, the couple exchanges rings promising each other a life-long of togetherness.

Maiya: Maiya refers to a Sikh custom where the bride and the groom are confined to their respective homes for a few days prior to the wedding. They are not allowed to step out of their house and also change their clothes.

Sangeet: This refers to the fun-filled evening where music, dancing and drinking are the main components. Traditionally, dancing to the beats of the dholak (small drum) was what sangeet meant. But with times changing, the dholak has been replaced with the DJ and sangeet promises to be a grand affair of fun and frolic.

Mehndi: This refers to the intimate ceremony for the ladies of the families, especially the bride's side. The henna paste is passed around amongst all present so that they can shower their blessings by placing a few rupees in the platter. Mehndi is smeared on the hands of the bride, who then leaves the impressions of her palms on a wall of her house. The mehendi is then quickly washed off following which the professional mehendi artists get on with their job.

Gana: This ceremony marks the tying of the auspicious red thread on the right wrist of the groom and the left wrist of the bride. Along with the gana, other auspicious items like cowrie shells, an iron key chain, pearls and a small bundle of sugar are also tied for good fortune.

Vatna: Taking place just before the wedding day, a scented paste consisting of barley flour, turmeric and mustard oil is applied to the bodies of the bride and the groom for cleansing and beautifying them. This is followed by a ritual bath.

Gharoli: Simultaneously at the groom's place, the groom's sister-in-law accompanied by other female relatives go to a nearby gurudwara or well to fill an earthen pitcher (gharoli) with water which is used to bathe the groom after the vatna ceremony.

Khare charna: The groom is made to sit on a stool and four girls cover him with a cloth over his head. He is then given the ritual bath before he starts getting ready for the wedding.

Choora chadana: This ceremony refers to the wearing of the red and white ivory bangles by the bride, which are a gift from her maternal uncle. The bangles are previously dipped in kachchi lassi (buttermilk). After the ritual bath, the bride puts on the kuvaar dhoti (last ensemble worn by her as a maiden gifted by her mother-in-law) and a prayer is said before the Guru Granth Sahib. Following this, the bride's uncle and aunt adorn her with the bangles, which have been blessed by five married ladies. The bride also wears a kada (steel bangle) on each wrist onto which her family and friends tie the kaleeran (dangling golden baubles) which are believed to bring in good luck.

Sehrabandi: Sehrabandi refers to the ceremony of tying the sehra (veil) onto the turban of the groom by his sisters which is first blessed by each member of the family. Along with the groom, the sarbala (usually a young nephew of the groom) is also dressed up for the occasion, who is to remain a constant companion of the groom till the wedding gets over.

Ghodi chadna: The groom and his sarbala are now escorted to a well decorated mare. After the mare has been fed horse gram by the groom's sisters, he and his sarbala mount the mare to set off for the journey to the wedding venue. The groom's sister-in-law now applies a touch of kohl to the groom's eye, symbolic of warding away the evil eye. Finally, the sisters and female cousins of the groom braid the bridle with vagaan (golden tassels) who are later gifted by the groom's mother.


Milni: Milni is the formal reception of the baraat (groom's party) by the bride's family. To the singing of 'hum ghar saajan aaye' (hymn), the bride's father greets the groom's father by garlanding him and is garlanded in return. Similarly, all the male relatives of the bride greet their counterparts from the groom's side and leads them inside the gurudwara. Ardaas is being said and the wedding ceremony begins.

Anand karaj: The Anand karaj generally takes place at anand vela (early morning). But in case it happens a little later, it must conclude before noon. The bride is escorted by her father, sisters and friends to the venue and is seated on the left of the groom. Since the Sikhs do not have an ordained clergy, a respected member of the community or gurudwara generally conducts the ceremony. All present are requested to stand for the ardaas after which all bow down in front of the holy book. The bride's father next ties the knot between the bride's veil and the groom's stole, symbolically connecting them and giving away his daughter away in marriage. Following this, the groom leads the bride four times around the Guru Granth Sahib, each round interspersed with hymns. The ceremony concludes with another ardaas and is followed by the vaak (guru's counsel) which is done by opening the holy book and reading out a random verse from the page on the right. Karah parshaad (holy food) is distributed and the couple is garlanded.


Doli: The bride now changes into a set of clothes and jewelry gifted to her by her in-laws. She feeds the male members of her own family with cooked rice and readies to leave with her new family. Throwing back handfuls of puffed rice, invoking blessings for prosperity on her family, the bride bids a tearful adieu. The father of the bride helps her sit in the decorated car while her brother escorts her to her new home. On reaching her marital home, the groom's mother receives the couple, pouring a little oil on the doorstep before the newlyweds enter. The mother then attempts to drink water from a lota (steel jar) but the groom prevents her. Finally, after three attempts, he relents and lets her drink the water. This act is repeated with six other female relatives.

Doli dinner: This dinner is specially marked to celebrate the bride's arrival. It is generally a quiet affair with only close family and friends in attendance.

Reception: The groom's parents host the wedding reception which is a formal introduction of the newlyweds to the extended family and friends.

Phere pauna: This ritual refers to the bride's first visit to her maternal home after the wedding. They are greeted with gifts and blessings. This marks the end to the wedding festivities of a Sikh wedding.

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